I thought this was supposed to be fun.
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I always think about a bazillion things I want to wrote about here, then I start typing and I just feel dumb, like nobody wants to read that crap. Then I delete everything.


Like that time I think my dog peed on my bed and I had to launder all my sheets and sanitize the bed before sleeping and thats why im awake at 1a.m. typing run-on sentences like a 10 year old.

Or like when I went to the gym tonight and was doing leg presses and had to stop on my last set because I was worried that I might shart myself if I did another rep?(only made it to 360lbs like I thought in a previous post).

Or that time where I begged my friends/coworkers to go to the gym with me and they wouldnt go with me but they went with the heaviest person at our office and said that they didnt want to go with me because I didnt inspire her enough even though I lost 45lbs in a  ? Year and went ti the gym 4x a week. Btw not punctuating is awesome and yay for clean sheets on a tuesday/wednesday

Habanero pepper cheese at 1a.m. was a bad idea.

Pretty sure its not going to be any better between 6-7a.m. either.

Its 111 degrees outside and im sitting in a 180 degree sauna at the gym.

The hell is wrong with me?

Right now. Ugh.

Right now. Ugh.

Just told my daughter. …

" I dont have time for me because im always busy being somebody for everybody else."

Wow.

what a sad actuality.

maximumliteralpunk thats exactly right! Banana omelettes. ..blech!!

Banana-egg “pancakes” are weird. Do. Not. Like.

My inner outer fat girl wants pizza for dinner. But the overweight and nearly diabetics me it’s going to go home and have chicken and green beans for dinner and then go to the gym and kick some ass. Last time I went I was able to leg press 450 pounds. I will be lucky if I’m even able to make it up to 300 since it has been so long since I’ve been at the gym. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to take douchey pictures while I’m there;)

Oh how fitting this is today!!

Oh how fitting this is today!!

(Source: wntvyz)

LCHF Dinner…am I doing it right?

2 big chunks of beef steak, 4pieces of peppered bacon, 2 eggs covered with cheese.

Is this how it works? Lol.

Dessert? MENUDO.

victortattoo:

DONE AT EAST RIVER TATTOO BROOKLYN, NYC.

I love this artists style. Simple yet stunning.

victortattoo:

DONE AT EAST RIVER TATTOO BROOKLYN, NYC.

I love this artists style. Simple yet stunning.

theclearlydope:

It’s like when two super attractive people have an ugly child. 
[via]

Um, NO.

theclearlydope:

It’s like when two super attractive people have an ugly child. 

[via]

Um, NO.

This is all because he has child lock on his door.

This is all because he has child lock on his door.

Seems like every time I post a single thing I lose a follower. I generally dont pay attention, but wah…sad.

The girls at my office want to do another “weight loss” challenge, Biggest Loser style. I declined.
Last time I did that, it was great, and I won $230 bucks for losing the highest percentage. But as soon as it was over, and the competition ended I started gaining weight back because there was no reason left to keep losing. I accomplished a goal, then it was over. Over the last few months, ive gained back at least 30 of the 45 I had lost. And in light of my recent bloodwork, I am not going to put myself in a position to unhealthily lose weight by starvation or pills or anything like that.
Sure, im on a “diet” because im eating less calories, but weight loss is secondary to my goal to reduce my blood sugar levels and become healthier and to reduce my diabetes and heart disease risk.
My biological mother died at 57 years old….thinking about living only 24 more years is sad. I want to live much longer than that, and at least I know what im doing now Is the best I can do.